The 5 C's of Dating and Content Marketing

In this episode, we interview Margarita Kitova, a demand generation director at DNAnexus, about her unique approach to marketing. With a background in journalism and a passion for storytelling, Margarita shares insights from her journey and expertise.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• How the five C's of healthy relationships—communication, compatibility, commitment, care, and compromise—apply to marketing.
• Why authenticity is essential for creating meaningful connections with customers.
• Strategies for identifying your ideal customer profile (ICP) and avoiding mismatched audiences.
• The importance of long-term commitment in nurturing leads and converting prospects.
• How genuine care and personalization elevate customer relationships.

Join us for a fun, insightful discussion that blends psychology and business to transform your content strategy!

Transcript

Ben (00:08.956)
Welcome back to another episode of Content Amplified. Today I'm joined by Margarita. Margarita, welcome to the show.

Margarita (00:15.448)
Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Ben (00:18.502)
Absolutely. Margarita, this is gonna be a fun conversation, but before we dive into the subject, let's get to know you, tell us about your background and history. Also let us get to know what you love about content and marketing.

Margarita (00:32.162)
Sure, I have some content background. Actually, my undergraduate degree is from Sound of the State in journalism and I worked at NBC Bay Area for a bit writing content for the webcast and then the newscast. And I've always been really excited about telling stories. And so I decided to do masters in marketing and transition into from storytelling to inform people to storytelling to sell something.

And that was a really easy transition for me because I've always been passionate about that and it's really content that makes the magic happen. Originally, I'm from Bulgaria. I also studied journalism there. I've lived in the Bay Area for 20 years now. So I've spent my entire adult life in the States. But I did some journalism in Europe as well. And then I lived in Canada while getting the master's degree. So it's always interesting to see the cultural differences and how people tell stories.

and all the nuances that go into that. So I always try to incorporate all the knowledge that came from these life experiences into how I do marketing in my job today. And so today I work at a life science company, it's called DNAnexus, and I'm a demand generation director there. So I do a lot of outreach, help the sales guys basically source opportunities. So I do all the market research to try and qualify leads based on the criteria they give me.

So I try to find people's pain points and then formulate a plan that would hopefully convert them into customers. it all goes back to storytelling.

Ben (02:04.924)
I love it. And this background is really exciting. And the subject today is also just a ton of fun. Margarita, you have this fun analogy of what content and marketing looks like. I feel like I probably won't do it justice to introduce it. Like what, what does this kind of look like to you? What's, what's something that comes readily to mind for you?

Margarita (02:26.282)
Well, I always am interested in just observing human behavior and kind of analyzing what goes behind it as a motivational factor. And so when people try to sell me things, when I get bombarded, as I'm sure you do too, with like all kinds of prospecting calls and LinkedIn messages. And then I started making this analogy all the time with like, almost like what happens in the dating world. And so...

I feel like there's a way to apply the five C's of healthy relationships or dating or whatever you want to call it to how people do marketing because at the end of the day, it's still human behavior, which translates from personal life, somebody's how they've run about in their personal life to how they do business. Right. And ultimately what it comes down to is authenticity always wins. And that's been the case for me, too. Like when I approach a campaign.

from an authentic point of view, like I wanna be genuine and really create true value for people, it always resonates the most with prospects versus trying to force a fit or trying to force a message that's not gonna resonate or something that I'm not confident in. It shows right away. So that's what it comes down to. And it's the same for me, like the people that get me to book a meeting with them or the ones that come in as genuine, like, hey, how can I help you?

or like I have something that's really gonna help you, but it's not like the usual that you get, know, someone trying to send me a hoodie, because they saw I went to San Jose State and then they try to make that connection, which is like little bits and pieces, but not really digging into what's that pain point, how am I gonna solve it, that kind of thing. So today's topic, I guess I wanted to talk about how to apply the five C's of healthy relationships to marketing, which is a funny topic, but I feel like there's a lot of meat to it that we could get into.

Ben (04:03.027)
Yeah.

Ben (04:14.174)
and I love this subject. think the analogy is so spot on because you're right. Authenticity is everything when it comes to marketing and content. It is so easy to see if you're putting on a facade and not really providing value. The brands where they seem like they're genuinely just having a fun time working with their audience. They do so much better in the long run than the groups that are purely out there to get a sale and then move on with life.

Margarita (04:41.964)
Exactly.

Ben (04:42.31)
And so let's dive into the meat and bones of this discussion. What are the five C's of healthy relationships and how do those apply to marketing and content?

Margarita (04:52.374)
Yeah, so I think that the five C's were originally coined by Dan Heller, is a psychologist that did an undergraduate research study while he was at UC Santa Cruz. And so people love lists, so five C's is easy to remember. So the five C's are communication, compatibility, commitment, care, and compromise.

And so all of that can kind of like picture, if you look at marketing, example, communication, what we talked about, it's just, you know, just getting to tell a genuine story, keeping it real. And then what I'm seeing and what I try to avoid in how I do campaigns at work, for example, is, you know, in dating, there's all these terms like catfishing, for example, where people would put a picture from how they look 10 years ago.

Ben (05:17.64)
I love it.

Margarita (05:46.478)
At the end of the day, it's not authentic. It might get you more likes and swipes and whatnot. But when you try to make that genuine human connection, it's going to be disappointing because you're not representing yourself with integrity. So in a campaign, for example, recently, we were going to push a white paper. And then I backtracked and it turned out the paper was written 10 years ago. And so I was like, can't catfish our prospects with running a 10 -year -old paper.

I see a lot of like garbage AI produce content, for example, on LinkedIn. To me, that's like similar to catfishing again. It's like all this like hype, but there's no substance to it. and so there's a lot of that attention grabbing all these stunts that people try to do. And even with like personal LinkedIn branding and all that stuff, but at the end of the day, like, it's not authentic. it might work for some, but the people that do see through it.

the people that matter is how I see it are going to know, you know, if it's like genuine story. And so that's why communication is super important to show up authentically when you when you make a promise to a prospect or when you put together an event or a webinar, it has to be like good value and provide some some substance to people because you're you know, you're taking up their time to show up and listen.

Same thing with your podcasts. Like I went in and I saw what you did and it's all like really good content that you're trying to, and that's how you amplify it. It's providing the value to people and they'll come back for more basically.

Ben (07:19.882)
Well, that's the goal is to provide value really selfishly. get to learn and have fun conversations like this. lots of benefits to the podcast. So as we're talking about it, what's interesting, I would love to focus in on a couple of these C's. The one that I'm intrigued to get your perspective on is compromise. I think that this is an element that we can do a much better job of when it comes to content and marketing and

even just business relationships as a whole, how do you view compromise when it comes to content? And how can we really kind of exemplify that persona or that element of these five Cs?

Margarita (08:02.186)
Interesting that you dug into that one. I was going to leave that one last, but that can open up a whole can of worms. Because to me, there's a lot of ego that goes into content creation sometimes. And people come from a point of like, here's what I think they want to hear, but it's coming off of ego versus how do you even compromise with your own ego and make sure that you're actually delivering not what they want to hear.

but what they need you to deliver for them. So like making sure you're approaching your content with empathy and like listening to what people really need for you to solve with that content. How do you view compromise when you create content? Do you think of that stuff? Like the different personas you're catering to?

Ben (08:51.998)
Well, I love the, what you just said, the idea of ego and how it doesn't play the specific role. It's not all about me. I know that one of my favorite resources for content marketing is building a story brand by Donald Miller. And he also wrote marketing made simple, but really it's this concept that your business is the guide or the help.

Right. And you are not the star of the show. You are not the hero of the story. That's your customer and you need to know your role. So I love how you talked about ego and the compromise section because I think it is knowing your role in the relationship. It is your customer that is out to succeed and as a business, it is your job to help them get there, but their success.

Well, I guess your success is only their success and it's really about having an engaging relationship where you are not the focal point. It is your customer and that's kind of how I view compromise.

Margarita (09:57.859)
I agree. Yeah. A lot of companies that don't have that authentic brand that you alluded to in the beginning, they kind of dictate their prospects journey. So there's no compromise. Like here's how it's going to go. You're to go through all these things. Here's the content we're going to feed you. You're going to have like all these calls. And it's like, there's no compromise on that. And then I feel like that

again comes back to like the whole ego thing and like the control of things. And it's really important to actually listen to your audience and then figure out what it is that you need to compromise with your own process of doing things to make sure you match that need for your audience.

Ben (10:39.892)
I love it. So let's dive into some of the other C's. did communication and compromise. What else is on the list?

Margarita (10:47.182)
There's compatibility that I feel like is underestimated. So for relationships, obviously that's huge. But in marketing, I've worked at a lot of companies that have struggled with identifying their ICP, like their ideal customer profile. so companies dump millions of marketing budget into building a go -to -market motion without

Ben (10:51.904)
Yeah

Margarita (11:16.054)
essentially knowing who they are and who their real customers are. And it's sad to see all this like effort and energy and time and money wasted on things that don't work because there's no healthy product market fit. It's the same with relationships. People go about their life, know, know, on spending on the wrong partner and just trying to make that fit. But it wasn't a healthy fit to begin with. So

you got to know what tools to leverage to make it work. you know, in marketing, the way I feel like you build your go to market motion, it's to quantify your product market fit with, you know, intent data, technographic data, firmographic data, going to your CRM, look at, you know, all your accounts, tag them, tag the contacts, see their account details.

know exactly what segment they fall into, know how to map it so that you could address that market. Instead, I look at, I mean, what I see in companies is basically people go into a data tool like global data, for example, and they feed in some basic criteria of an industry, for example, and then it spits out a list of companies. And then it's literally like, okay, here's our total addressable market. Here's who we're going after, but there's no actual like

going into like Salesforce or whatever CRM there is and like looking at, what pain points are we solving for these people? How exactly, you know, are we going to make investments to fit that? Are they using a tool that we're selling right now? If not, are they in the market for one? All these things need to be mapped out properly. And then it's the same thing, I guess, with compatibility and relationships, like

You got to do your research, you got to know yourself, build self -awareness and then read the other person and make sure there's compatibility there. And it's hilarious because now there's all these like terms, I guess, for modern dating. And then I have friends that are heavily into that. So they educate me, for example, like.

Margarita (13:35.882)
groundhogging, for example. I don't know if you know what that means, but I've recently learned that someone who gravitates towards like the same type of romantic partners and they keep picking the same type of person and then it never works out, but they expect a better outcome. But you go back to that same person and it's the same thing with like marketing. You keep dumping all this money into here's who we think our market fit is, but there's no research done. There's no compatibility and you know, you keep spending money towards the same thing. And of course it doesn't work. Of course.

Ben (13:43.732)
Mm.

Ben (13:51.401)
Yeah.

Margarita (14:05.624)
you're not going to be profitable because you didn't do your homework. So I think that it's a really funny way of, I've seen this in like small and large companies all around and how it's like a basic thing you need to have a healthy foundation to build on. But yeah, it's missing from a lot of, from what I see.

Ben (14:28.2)
Yeah, I love this, this point, the compatibility and often it's more about, in my opinion, the not just your ICP, but what's not your ICP, the ability to say we are not a good fit for this kind of customer and segments. And, one of my favorite advertisements and piece of marketing overall, there's a local ski resort here in Utah, and they had this full two page spread in a magazine that had a one star review.

And it said the slopes are too hard to ski. And that's what they actually publish this real review in this ad. And it's got a full page spread of someone's skiing. And immediately what's interesting is if you're a beginner, you have no interest in going to this resort, but that's not who they want. They want the people they say, awesome, this has got the most challenging slopes. That is for me.

Margarita (15:03.242)
Hmm.

Margarita (15:14.722)
Mm -hmm.

Margarita (15:25.75)
I love it.

Ben (15:26.062)
And by saying no to it and knowing that they're not compatible with the beginners, they found their audience. And it is Harold, it is like one of the best ads I've ever seen and other people agree. So I think that's such a really solid point. And I think there's a lot of value with that. So I love the compatibility point. So we've got two more to go through and we don't have a ton of time to go through them, but let's dive into those real quick.

Margarita (15:49.954)
I guess a big one is commitment. that's same with marketing and relationships, truly investing the time, the effort, the energy into building that relationship with your audience. And then that's when quality content comes into play. And I feel like that's a huge portion of what I do, the growth hacking, making sure we earn the lead flow.

Ben (15:52.66)
Mmm.

Margarita (16:17.548)
before we start paying for it. And that's where content is crucial for earning that relationship. So like, it makes so much more sense to build that relationship before you start paying for paid campaigns, you know, to run things. And that's where, you know, the compatibility, knowing your ICPs, so you have enough fresh content for everything and you anchor that content into SEO, ABM, all that stuff to make an efficient play. And where I see this, you know, the analogy again with relationships is,

you know, just being the having the time and the energy and the focus and truly investing into it. I feel like that's a lot of it is lacking in what I see. So, you know, what people call situationships, I guess, like, we're like, they're, you know, they're stringing someone along. But there's no like, no fully committing kind of thing. And that's where the connection doesn't happen.

Ben (17:05.192)
Yeah.

Margarita (17:18.062)
And so that's also like the same thing with like marketing and content and all that. There's people that, for example, would engage with me on LinkedIn and then kind of disappear. And then here and there, they would like a LinkedIn post or whatever, but there's no actual like conversation happening. And then like you could see that they're trying to cover a lot of areas talking to a lot of people, but there's no actual effort to get to know that person.

to start like a genuine conversation. And then I feel like it's probably our time, modern times where everyone's attention spans are so low and people are being burdened with all this. Yeah, exactly. All these things happening. It's also like, I guess the term is breadcrumbing where like people do this, like these small nuggets of communication, but they don't really fully commit. And so like,

Ben (17:57.128)
Yeah, thank you TikTok for that, right?

Margarita (18:16.258)
For example, we just closed an account at work and sales just got finally congratulated on it, but it took us two years to nurture that relationship. And so it takes so much time. It doesn't just automatically go to contract. We did so many things for them, so many different campaigns, so much different content to see what resonated. We did events with them, custom things, all kinds of things.

Ben (18:27.316)
Yeah.

Margarita (18:45.428)
we found exactly what they needed help with and we made sure to show them how we can deliver on that solution for them. But it took like a full investment of effort and energy and time for two years to close that one person.

Ben (18:59.848)
Yeah. I love that. That, that commitment side of things is so powerful. It changes a relationship in business from transactional to an actual partnership. Like you said, you were managed to find what does this business really need? What, what can we do to actually provide the most amount of value? And now it's a much better and stronger relationship where

It's more than just the product or services. It's the relationship that matters. And I think that that's really powerful.

Margarita (19:35.7)
Exactly, exactly.

Ben (19:37.566)
All right, we got one more point. Let's dive in.

Margarita (19:40.174)
I guess that's where, so we talked about closing that relationship, but it continues on to even further. That's where once you close the customer, then a customer success, and then that is still continuous. And the fifth C, guess, is care. So it goes back to truly personalizing the experience for that person.

So it's not in like me, me, me culture that we talked about, you know, driven by ego and all that stuff and telling people what they want to hear, but actually listening to them, making it about them, showing empathy and truly personalizing your message and experience to what they need and being dedicated to really helping them via, you know, be a content or service or whatever it is that you're offering that you make it about them and you genuinely care. Because I feel like

You know, with all this noise people are bombarded with and TikTok and all that stuff. It gets like harder and harder to see genuine care. And, you know, our lives are stressful. There's so much people worry about. And it's easy to check out or be angry at the world. But if you care and you genuinely show that you care, I feel like that's what it comes down to. And that's why that's part of a healthy relationship aspect.

Ben (20:59.964)
I love that. I love that. And I think that's a great stopping point for us. Margarita, we're out of time. I'll be honest, when I started this podcast, I never thought I would have a conversation about the five C's of dating and relationships and relate that to content marketing, but I am so glad that we did. It is such a good analogy and metaphor for content and marketing. think there's a lot to learn from this. So thank you so much. If anyone wants to reach out and continue the conversation and

Margarita (21:00.866)
Yeah.

Ben (21:30.164)
build a genuine relationship with you, how and where can they find you online?

Margarita (21:34.926)
LinkedIn, guess, would be the place. I'm not active on any social media or other than LinkedIn, so that would be the way.

Ben (21:40.809)
Yeah.

Love it. Love it. And we'll link to your profile in the show notes. anyone looking to connect with you can find that nice and quick. Margarita, thank you again so much for the time today. Really appreciate it.

Margarita (21:55.192)
Thank you, Ben. It was an honor and I super appreciate you having me.

Ben (21:59.87)
Yeah, absolutely.